Five for Five : Ballads and Battles of Beliefs

I. What can you write about now that you couldn't write about a month or even a year ago?

I think…I was unable to truly write about some very personal, and truamtic, experiences I had. I think that I wasn’t able to write about them because I was too close to the situation and so my perspective was skewed by intense and unmanned emotions. I needed some distance and I needed to truly clean out my heart and deal with what was in there and then see things with fresh eyes so that I could write about it…but write about it in away that wasn’t a woe is me.. blah.. journal entry but something that had invitation and forgiveness, hope and healing or at least the beginning process of healing.

I think I couldn’t write about certain things before not simply because of those reasons but mostly I think it boils down to belief systems. I had to pay attention to and explore what I really believed I could do and couldn’t do. Do I really believe I can write something beautiful from this mess or not? Do I really believe I’m just groaning and complaining when I write about this? If I am, then do I believe I can turn them complaints to correction and correspondences? etc… I think that’s a core foundation of all writing and its successes and limits…. it boils down to what you really believe. What you can and can’t do is bred from what you believe.

II. In your belief, what can and can't writing do?

I think the ability and power that writing has can vary based on the writer and their beliefs, but I suppose I would say that in a general sense, writing can inspire, provoke, challenge, confuse, empower, Etc— it can be a starting point to what you want it to do, or it can be a guide through the process.  Generally, I think, writing cannot actually do the tangible work that needs to be done to change the world or the world of an individual. What I mean by that is... writing is the agent, it's the tool we use for application to do what needs to be done. We are the doers and writing is what can be used to do it. for example, writing can provoke someone to forgive but it's the person who has to do the action of forgiving... so we can write it all down—ideas, thoughts, dreams, policies, vision— make sense of it, plan, and all that stuff but nothing's going to get done with it sitting there on the page ya know?  We as writers and readers give writing the power to come alive.  Really, I think my writing can do whatever I want it to do, but of course it might take some work to get it there.

III. What can a writer do if they feel they can't write and/or what can a reader do if they feel challenged/confused by a writers or your works? What can't they do?

Before I answer the first question I'm going to start by answering the second. What both writers and readers can't do concerning their own writing or readings is they can't just assume things...without explanation, proof, investigation. They can't just assume something is literal or even the opposite, that something is not literal; they can't just assume they know what's going on or what something means; and with that, but above all, they cannot just assume something is boring or stupid or irrelevant or wrong or that something doesn't make sense without really looking, reading, questioning etc-- Yes writing is challenging and can be confusing but to simply assume makes it all the more difficult and puts a fence around your minds ability to learn and your hearts openness to feel.

“if they feel they can’t believe then I think they need to just stop trying to believe and just “do” it. Sometimes the belief comes in the process or after it is done.”

When a writer feels like they can't write they can't assume they can't write because they "just can't" or that they can't write because they weren't "born writers" or that they can't write because they don't like it. When a writer feels like they can't what they can do is believe they can, yet if they feel they can't believe then I think they need to just stop trying to believe and just "do" it. Sometimes the belief comes in the process or after it is done.

The thing is... because you feel a certain way doesn't mean you can't..too many times we let our emotions make decisions for us... just because I may feel down or insecure about something doesn't mean that what I need or am trying to do is defined by that emotion or that emotion defines who I am. I can feel insecure and still do it (whatever that "it" is); just because I'm having a depressive episode doesn't mean I can't or that I'm not what I truly am under the pain. If I'm in the middle of an emotion, it's not that I can't or I'm not, it's just a matter of if I will or won't. if I'm a good person at my core, whether I'm having a depressive episode or I feel dumb or whatever feeling, I'm still that good person regardless. 

If a reader feels challenged, confused about my writing or any writing in general what they can do and should always do is ask for/get help—have questions don't just settle for "I don't get it" really try to figure out what it is exactly challenging or confusing you— have someone go over it with you, assist you. What they can do is do a close reading: read slow, read line by line, use a dictionary, research etc. What they can do above all, is know that writing is timeless and if you don't get something at first, that's okay. You have to be willing and you have to dive back in and keep digging. You have to know that sometimes it takes multiple reads, investigations and time to come to an understanding. And you have to know that sometimes the understanding you have at one time can change when you go back at another time. I think if you are confused about something or challenged that's the best place to be as a reader because you're about to travel and (if willing) discover great things about not only the text but yourself and/or the world.

 IV. What is something that can harm your writing or a person's writing?

I think, not thinking about writing and not revising or questioning my work is something that can harm my writing. I didn't want to say "not writing" because there are periods that I go through in which I don't write poems at all or write anything in terms of a full fledged out piece and I'm okay with that. However,I'm always thinking about writing. And if I'm not thinking about it then my writing suffers when I go to write, sort of like it becomes a rusty pipe and it erodes. If I'm not revising (and I don't necessarily mean big revisions) it's harmful because then the work becomes stagnant and complacent...it becomes dead water and when water doesn't flow it becomes a cesspool of bacteria. I believe that, not just for my writing personally but for any writer. I also think being fearful and not letting other people read your work, question your work, or even play with your work can be harmful to your work and to you as a writer. 

IV (b).  What do you mean by "play with your work"?

When I was in grad school, in a workshop with Idra Novey, one of my favorite workshop mates, Tatum, would just start moving lines around and flipping things in my poems.. Idra would do this too sometimes. Tatum would just move lines around, take words out.. etc. She would say, "I was just playing around and check this out" It wasn't to take control or make the poem the way they wanted it but it was just an experiment, it gave a new lens. I really enjoyed that and I've been doing that ever since and I do it to other people's work, sometimes in my head. It's just fun, it's like legos..you can build what's on the box or you can build whatever you want. Sometimes you can end up with two different poems that use the same words, it's cool and I believe that it can be very helpful.

V. Can poetry/creative writing do anything for other disciplines/fields? and vice versa?

Of course it can. Sometimes other disciplines feel so boxy and rigid, creative writing can push those walls out, It can give those fields a different lens to see things and problem solve differently. And versa those disciplines can give structure or not, or the same, provide new lens, new ideas, etc. I think it can do a lot, that was just the first thing that came to mind.

I don't know why people put creative arts on one end and other disciplines on another, I don't think they are total opposites... I think it's a spectrum and I think that they can mix with one another. If different spices can be mixed in cooking then so can fields and disciplines.

Five For Five: Fire and Embers

I. How do you know when a poem is finished, or when you should move on from a piece?

The definition of “finished”, in short, means to be complete but it also means to be safe and be at peace. I know when a poem is finished, when there is peace in my spirit and in my heart; Peace lets me know it is safe to let go, even if I don’t want to. I know it’s safe because there is peace. I can only move on when it is finished. The completion of a poem can come quickly but also not, it may take days, months and sometimes years. It is just an inexplicable knowing spoken in the language of peace.

 II. If you had to describe your poetry in a single sentence what would it be?

“The cursive of light.”

III. Who are your writing influences ? 

“I know when a poem is finished, when there is peace in my spirit and in my heart; Peace lets me know it is safe to let go, even if I don’t want to”

Trauma, dysfunction, mindsets, sorrow, freedom, desire, hunger and thirst, victory, hope, deliverance, healing, heaven, word of God, people and their stories, myself and the future—I know, you probably meant writers of influence but in honesty, my writing has and is more influenced by these things than actual writers and their work. 

But know, I do love Lucile Clifton, Audre Lorde, Fernando Pessoa, Ntozake Shange & Pablo Neruda—to name a few, and they have inspired me and my writing so there’s that, for ya. However at the core of it all, it is the aforementioned things.

IV. What has writing taught you? and what do you hope your writing teaches others?

Writing has taught me much but for short, it has taught me the uses and effects of power and processes. It has taught me patience and it has taught me to believe, to. try again, to forgive, to listen and to love. It has taught me how to create and move from the future back.

I hope my writing teaches others the same thing, but I hope my writing teaches others to seek and to find. I hope it teaches others to believe, even when physical sight and circumstances are contrary and I hope it teaches and helps others to know and discover who they are. Lastly, I hope it teaches others to ask, receive, stay open, love and be loved and that every heaven made truth revealed on the earth is real.

V. How do you keep your passion for poetry going? How do you fan the flame when passion is or may be dwindling?

I keep my passion for poetry going by keeping myself in it. I stay immersed in it—even when I’m not writing, I’m reading poetry, thinking about poetry, meditating on poetry, asking, praying about poetry and looking for it— and I have a God-fearing reverance for it; I honor it and its an honor that I get to write it and speak it. 

The latter of this question is interesting because its sort of a contradiction in a sense. In that, if I stay immersed in it then it’s kind of impossible for the flames to dwindle. But the thing is, I find that when you become engrossed in other people’s opinions about poetry or your poetry in particular then you will easily see the flame begin to dwindle. Or when you become preocuppied with your poetic flaws—by which I mean… the things as a poet or writer that you have yet to master, writerly habits and cycles that you go back to, etc.— secondly comparing yourself to other writers and their work & the inevitable constant incoming rejections; you forget that, it isn’t about that, so you can find the flame begin to dwindle because you become self centered on yourself and don’t have your eyes on the poem and its purpose. In these two aforementioned examples are the only times I have found my passion of poetry dwindling, but I have since gotten passed that, not by osmosis or trying but by getting my eyes off others and myself and onto the joy set before me, which is poetry itself. 

If you honor it and have a Godly fearing reverence for poetry, you rarely will find passion dwindle and if you continue to immerse yourself in it, as well. This dwindling passion issue, is not that I don’t wake up sometimes grumpy and don’t want to write or read, it is simply those are just jitters and momments; moments pass. It’s a problem when you give a bad moment, momentum and make it a way of being..that there, all you get is mess. I mean, ask couples who have been married for years, 10 plus, and are still happy and madly in love with eachother.. ask them how is that so and that asnwer is the same for passion and poetry.